What To Do To Stop Fighting
Author: KimPatrick Total views: 12 Word Count: 431
My boys had a punch up today. There you go, I said it. Now you know that my kids are not perfect. But remember, we can't always control what our kids say or do. But we sure can control our reactions to it.
I was in the kitchen when I heard some language that wasn't allowed in our house. I walked into the lounge and one of my boys had another boy in a head lock, and the other one was on top of someone. For those of you who only have girls, you will never understand. This is definitely a "boy" thing. However, I'm not saying that this is acceptable behavior.
Sam was choking so I quickly separated the boys. Then I was given a barrage of "he did this then I did this and he did this..." My mind was spinning as I was trying to figure out the best way to deal with this violence. the boys all went to their rooms and I went to see each boy separately to get the story about what had gone down.
Three different versions... hmmm.. I should have guessed. OK, what to do now...
Now the boys picked a bad time to have their fight as I had earlier on that morning given them permission to organize sleepovers at it was the school holidays. I felt for the kids and I told them that they would have to postpone their sleepovers. Then I decided to hatch a plan... so I went out for an hour and them home alone.
I hoped that my kids would take the opportunity to do something to earn back their sleepovers. I just gave them the opportunity to surprise me and give me just cause to reinstate their privilege that had just been taken from them.
Well I arrived back from the bank and walked into the house. I could see one boy doing some dishes, another boy was cleaning the bathroom vanity. The third boy had cleaned up the lounge room and it was looking very tidy. Wonderful.
Now here is where we as parents need to learn to extend grace to your children. Sure, I could have stood my ground and canceled the sleepovers. But when my kids show me that they are sorry for their actions and try to make amends I like to extend a bit of grace towards them.
My kids apologized to each other and away they went. But you can be sure that if there is another occurence these holidays the penalty will be severe.
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About the Author
Kim Patrick is a single mum with four children, living in Queensland, Australia. She is a best selling author as well as a child behavior management expert and her guide on raising children can be found at her web site: www.mychildcanbehave.com
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