Problem Solving - 3 Strategies to Teach Your Children
Author: MattHellstrom Total views: 7 Word Count: 323
Per Dr. James Lehman, children can act out in inappropriate ways when they don't know how to problem-solve. It is a mechanism by which they have learned to cope and they use it to make someone else solve the problem for them. Dr. Lehman's Total Transformation program aids us parents in giving our children the tools needed to solve their own problems. They will be take responsiblity and be more accountable then.
Here are three of these techniques that can give you a firm idea of how simplistic and realistic these tools are in turning things around and quickly.
1. Make direct statements. Make your statement firmly, clearly and then walk away from the situation. Do not fear appearing powerless. You have the responsibility of your child's actions on him and he knows that is powerful.
2. Disconnect. Stop talking with the child if they become abusive and disrespectful. Make it a power vacuum and things will turn around right away. We started using this strategy and are amazed at the response. Communication does not resume until they admit their responsibility.
3. Theconsequences should be task-oriented and time-limited. Whenever you can, connect the consequences to the behavior. For example, "you can't play outside until you clean your room". It is important to note, you are unable to punish the child into acceptable behavior. Consequences should be short term, not a jail sentence.
In conclusion, don't expect overnight results. Results will come, trust me, just not all at once. And then the blame will be replaced with gratitude.
A few good reminders - Don't let what the child says or does in response to your actions change your way of handling the problems. Consistency is a huge benefit in parenting. And don't be too hard on yourself if you slip up. Remember this is also retraining a lot of our parenting behaviors too. One thing is for sure, you will get another chance to practice these techniques!
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